In the process of devotional service one will be confronted with whatever he’s holding back, no question , that one can hide this , act if it’s not there , as if this fear to surrender I’ll act as if I don’t have it. I’ll just surrender in one part and not surrender to this. There are so many things you can surrender to in devotional service you don’t have to surrender to everything. You just surrender to what you can surrender to, and the things you don’t want to surrender to you don’t. And you hope that it will do. But Krishna knows exactly to where we are not surrendering to. And he will make arrangements. In the Bhagavatam it says, Krishna will give the intelligence to one who is always worshipping him, who is always trying to serve him sincerely. In the purport writes even if a devotee is very sincere but not following the order of his spiritual master then Krishna will make arrangements from within to purify. The Lord will take charge of it directly. Very interesting. How is a devotee not following the orders of his spiritual master? Here we see the definition of sincerity as is one who is sincere enough to take up spiritual life. Although he may not be so sincere that he follows cent percent of the desire of the spiritual master. Where is such a disciple? it’s hard to become such a disciple , a challenge. Every year we go through a vyas-puja and during that offering we try to renew our commitment and we try to glorify the spiritual master. Beyond that we are trying also to confess the gap that exists between our surrender and the desire of spiritual master and we try to say so far we’ve failed and we’ll try to do better and this year I will really do it. That I will give everything and the next year we read again how still we didn’t do it. So this gap that exists internally between the desire of the spiritual master this is what we have to conquer , increase our commitment and make the gap smaller and smaller and we have have to do whatever he wants , fearless
