HH KKS: As devotees we are getting more senior as we have been in this movement longer, we are realizing again and again, we start to lament not about the material sense gratification that we missed but we start to lament that we did not take full advantage. I had all these opportunities but I did not take full advantage. This is what every devotee begins to experience with time. I had so many opportunities and I did not take advantage. And all these years went by and why didn’t me. And we have heard in their last moments were saying so. Intimate disciples of Srila Prabhupada have said that their lasts words - Hayagriva Maharaj before he left his body, before he left: “I have only one sorrow, I only regret that I did not take more advantage of Prabhupada’s association and his instructions” Those were his last words.
Hayagriva was after all the first person Prabhupada met …. Prabhupad was walking there in the street and there was Hayagriva and Hayagriva had a beard and long hair and a deep and resonant voice and big and tall body and he was walking in the street and he saw Prabhupada …and Hayagriva had been in India. And Hayagriva asked him oh excuse me are you from India and Prabhupad said “Oh yes” and “You too are you from India?” “No no but I’ve been to India”, “Oh you’ve been to India” and it was very interesting that Hayagriva had been to India because what happened was when Prabhupad reached America with the Jaladutta and got off the ship a few hours later or a little later when that ship got ready to go back to India then Hayagriva boarded that ship to go to India to look for a Guru!… went to India never found a Guru but anyway brought some souvenirs back some posters etc ,and later came and met Prabhupada……. came back to America after not so long because he didn’t find anything then met Prabhupad in New York one day ,and in due course of time Prahupada started the temple, and later on they brought out the souvenirs from India: and there was one poster of one creature, and they said “What is it Prahupada?… Is it a cat ?”
Prabhupad said “No, its not a cat .. it’s a monkey …Hanuman, it’s Hanuman.”
He had a poster of Hanuman, he had a poster of Satbuj – the six armed form. And he had brought all these things from India, so see how Hayagriva was just completely under the divine energy all along even in his search. When he was looking for a Guru he got on the Jaladutta so all along he got mercy just by being on the Jaladutta, he got some purification. Then he was the first devotee that was sent to India on a shopping mission for the temple and he came back and brought all the things for the temple, all by divine arrangement. Already he was the instrument of Prabhupad even before he had joined Prabhupada. Very interesting! He was already accepted,…. he was looking for a Guru and Krishna had already arranged it… Ok you can start serving you’re Guru now even before you’ve found him! And this is how it was! it’s a really amazing story! How Krishna interfered in the life of one who had not even joined or had not even surrendered or had not even yet fully committed himself to the lotus feet of a spiritual master. And yet Krishna had already accepted him – and was already making arrangements for him – and Krishna sends us Guru and Guru gives us Krishna. So this story is very nice. We see that we should, like him, like Hayagriva…we should …..why wait till the end of our life to ask this question to feel this remorse that I have wasted the opportunities.
It is not already different for a new person as it is for a person who is very experienced. It starts immediately…. we are already not taking advantage of the opportunities and those who have been around are still not fully taking advantage. So this is the contemplation that we should make a renewed advantage of what we have. We are so worried about life … what about my life, my life…. But what about death, it’s coming nearer all the time it never goes further away , every moment it comes a little closer……….then it becomes serious no more time for joke,s no more time and suddenly we regret everything. We see how serious Prabhupada was about not wasting time he even wanted to conquer sleep. And somehow or other due to some physical problem there was a ringing in his ears so he couldn’t sleep , everyone in that stage would have panicked – I have a ringing in my ears and I can’t sleep – doctor do something give me a pill. But Prahupada… No… did not go for medicine and Prabhupada was like now my desire is being fulfilled now I am conquering sleep. See I don’t have to waste time with that anymore. …………………..We are going ha-ha at last here is the big bed ho-ho!!! I’m coming – there we are… dive on the mattress and the blankets with great happiness! Jaya my bed! Oh dear bed I love you so! Right. Is not this part of our lives – the bed is an important aspect. Prabhupad did not want to waste that time. So samadhi means that – to not waste time – to try and conquer sleep. Of course it is said bali ragam and durbali ragum which means perspiration for the strong and sleep for the weak. So one cannot just artificially give up sleep. It depends on ones condition and ones health and so on. So a person whose health is less may have to rest. That is also part of life. But then we see that to really conquer sleep does not really mean to stay awake all the time because it is stated how Balaram conquered sleep and that Balaram in his sleep was always dreaming of Krishna so one can even sleep and be Krishna Conscious. 
So Prabhupada recommended this that before sleep we would read Krishna book and that we would remember Krishna and dream of Krishna. So one who is constantly absorbed, constantly in hearing about Krishna and chanting can actually come to this point, where one even dreams about Krishna. Such things will come in time. But where there is real samadhi – complete samadhi means 24 hours absorption in Krishna, all the time.
